Restless Heart

Come to think of it, we all have our dreams of greatness, fame, fortune, great power. We might, or might not live long enough to achieve either one or all of those, or at least live happily ever after as Cinderella and Charming would kill for, but at the end of it all, when we reach that moment when our whole life suddenly replays itself before us in a single flash, we realize that it doesn't matter if we lived happily ever after like we all fantasize about, just like in fairy tales, what matters is: that we simply loved, and we LIVED. And if Cinderella were just here just like the rest of us to be another lucky witness to Ivan's fabulous life, she'd simply say "Shame on me".


(I wrote this note in my phone, walking, while following the hearse to the cemetery, where Ivan's remains were burried.)

I'm selling my Canon 600F Professional photo and 35mm film flatbed scanner. Mint condition, barely used. No scratches/damages whatsoever. I bought it for 10K and selling it for 6.5K.


This is a very cool and elegant scanner that blends well with Mac products. It can scan pictures, documents, and even old 35mm negatives so you can restore your old photographs and turn them into digital files. It is powered by one USB cord. No need to plug to AC outlets, unlike other scanners.

Text 0917-8837628 if you're interested :)

Technical Specifications:

Scanner Type	Color Image Scanner
Max. Resolutions	Optical: 4800 x 9600 dpi Interpolated: 19,200 x 19,200 dpi
Scanning Mode	Color: 48-bit internal/48-bit external (selectable in driver) Grayscale: 16-bit internal/8-bit external Black & White Text enhanced
Max. Document Size	8.5" x 11.7" maximum
Max. Film Size	35mm x 6 frames (Negative/Positive)
Interface	USB 2.0 Hi-Speed1
Dimensions (W x D x H)	11.3"(W) x 1.7"(H) x 16.1"(D)
Weight	5.8 lbs
System Requirements	Windows: Windows XP: USB 2.0 Hi-Speed 566MHz/128MB RAM USB: 300MHz/128MB RAM Windows 2000: USB 2.0 Hi-Speed 566MHz/128MB RAM USB: 300MHz/128MB RAM Windows Me: USB 300MHz/128MB RAM Windows 98: USB 300MHz/128MB RAM2 Mac: Mac OS X v.10.2.8 to 10.4.x USB 2.0 Hi-Speed: PowerPC G3, G4, G5/256MB RAM3

Join people all around the world in showing that you care about our planet and want to play a part in helping to fight climate change.

On March 29, 2008 at 8 p.m., join millions of people around the world in making a statement about climate change by turning off your lights for Earth Hour, an event created by the World Wildlife Fund.

Earth Hour was created by WWF in Sydney, Australia in 2007, and in one year has grown from an event in one city to a global movement. In 2008, millions of people, businesses, governments and civic organizations in nearly 200 cities around the globe will turn out for Earth Hour. More than 100 cities across North America will participate, including the US flagships–Atlanta, Chicago, Phoenix and San Francisco and Ottawa, Montreal, Toronto and Vancouver.

Just one hour. It doesn's take much. Tonight, at 8 pm Manila time, let's make a difference.

I found myself composing something in my mind before going to sleep, so I wrote it down in a poem instead. Happy birthday! =)

It's your birthday again this year
I'm sure it must be fun
All the balloons and candies, darn
Bet you'll never be done.

You must be thinking, hey luck is here!
For all your troubles seem to disappear
But you don't know one thing, best I tell you
Before too late, I'll give a clue.

You think one day a year is great
Look at me and spoil your fate
I got a good deal you'll never get
My life's a blast, I'll watch you fret.

Being with you, hey that's quite sweet
Especially in the mornings when we greet
And then at night we kiss away
And dream a dream, o' come what may.

If you're good a math then you will see
You're really getting the deal's raw end
If one a year is such a glee
My 365's a bargain, I won't pretend.

I'm glad we're beside each other's hearts
You give me birthdays as if they're tarts
You always take me out of the blue,
So what the heck, thank you for you.

Superb Imaging Performance
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•	On-chip noise reduction circuitry on CMOS sensor minimizes interference from electrical noise; keeping image data clean for clearer images even at high ISO settings and long exposures
•	DIGIC III Imaging Processor’s 14-bit A/D conversion gives rapid processing speeds while maintaining fine detail and accurate colour reproduction
•	New sRAW file format gives you the versatility of RAW at a smaller file size

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Live View mode
•	Shooting from the LCD monitor allows easy verification of focus, composition and exposure
•	Silent shooting mode for quiet environments
•	Shoot remotely from your computer via a wired/wireless connection (with WFT-E3)

EOS Integrated Cleaning System
•	Comprehensive measures to minimise the effects of dust particles on images
•	Includes Self Cleaning Sensor Unit and Dust Delete Function

Durable Body with Rugged Design
•	Magnesium alloy body for rugged field use
•	High shutter durability of approx.100, 000 cycles
•	New 0.95x viewfinder for large and clear view of the scene
•	Large 3-inch LCD monitor (approx. 230,000 pixels resolution) offers wider viewing angle with visibly clearer images and larger text

I'm glad I watched this musical before I left for L.A. It was a visual, musical, and emotional spectacle that I will forever remember. It was worth ALL the trouble (yes I did go through a lot of trouble to watch it). Hats off to Stephen Schwartz.



On another note, Avenue Q was a blast too! It was such a creative masterpiece that only a kid with wild dreams can conceive. Me and my sister had a blast. What a riot!

Life in the big apple is not exactly how Carrie Bradshaw told it--I don’t really see Greek gods and goddesses walking the streets asking you for directions, people don’t spend entire days chitchatting in coffee shops, and yeah, people would rather take the subway than cabs. But it’s close. In fact, I was pleasantly surprised that America does have some soul in it. It might not be too easy to find, but it’s there somewhere, if you look hard enough.

Honestly I was not too excited to see America, I mean not as excited to see Paris or London. I always imagined it like watching the Tonight Show, where everything is but a laugh, where everything ends with Paris Hilton or Britney Spears. But when I walked the streets, looked at the old buildings, dug up some history books, and talked to some people, I realized that it won’t be too hard for me to fall in love with this place.

We all know that globalization is taking over the world. Or rather, it is the way of the world. It’s sad, but inevitable. As a foreigner, naturally, I expected to see Americans trudging the streets because, obviously, I am in America. But instead I see people from different races, cultures, ethnicities. New York is a melting pot, as they term it. Diversity, personified. And precisely that characteristic makes the Big Apple very interesting, and educating, might I say. It’s not easy to talk to a Chinese, French, Indian, or Russian. But the moment you learn how to deal with different cultures, your perspective widens tenfold. It’s when you understand that things come in different colors, shapes and sizes – and all of them have their own importance. I’ve learned quite a few things that I’m proud I’ll bring a long for a while.

 

I sort of prepared for this trip, at least the way I thought was appropriate. I bought new clothes for the cold, read up on the place, and contacted some American friends. However, there were a few things that slipped my mind. Much to my surprise, were the very basic things that I am dealing with now. To name a few: cooking, doing the laundry, doing the dishes, and, most of all, living alone. It didn’t come too easy, but heck I’m even having a blast that I now know how to cook Adobo, and cook rice without rice cookers. Yes, rice cookers are not “in” here. It’s not so bad. All this time I’ve been afraid to cook and pretty much have anything to do with the kitchen until I realized that you just have to get in to it to get it done. It’s that simple. It doesn’t require complicated math at all. However, a little love spices up the meal quickly.

 

I like the fact that this apartment is equipped for clueless singles like me to get by daily life easily. How hard can it be? There’s a dishwasher, microwave, Laundromat, oven, and even a cleaning lady every week to help me out. Not bat at all. I am proud, very proud that I cook my own food now, do my laundry, and pretty much run this household of exactly one person, namely myself. Kudos to me!

 

I haven't been here a long time, but the more time I spend in this city, the more interesting it gets. The people who walk fast, the the old and dirty subway, the metal scaffoldings everywhere, the ridiculously high cost of living, the cold, cold air, the street art, subway art, graffiti art, the sidewalk cafes in Greenwich, the galleries in SoHo, and everything else television doesn't show all give New York it's character. I've already fallen in love with this place... this place.






 

I heart NY, sincerely.

 You see, everything would have been perfect here, if not for one small thing...

I lie awake
I've gone to ground
I'm watching porn
In my hotel dressing gown
Now I dream of you
But I still believe
There's only enough for one in this
Lonely hotel suite

The journey's long
And I feel so bad
I'm thinking back to the last day we had.
Old moon fades into the new
Soon I know I'll be back with you
I'm nearly with you
I'm nearly with you

When I'm weak I draw strength from you
And when you're lost I know how to change your mood
And when I'm down you breathe life over me
Even though we're miles apart we are each other's destiny

On a clear day
I'll fly home to you
I'm bending time getting back to you
Old moon fades into the new
Soon I know I'll be back with you
I'm nearly with you
I'm nearly with you

When I'm weak I draw strength from you
And when you're lost I know how to change your mood
And when I'm down you breathe life over me
Even though we're miles apart we are each other's destiny

When I'm weak I draw strength from you
And when you're lost I know how to change your mood
And when I'm down you breathe life over me
Even though we're miles apart we are each other's destiny

I'll fly, I'll fly home
I'll fly home and I'll fly home

Today I lost my laptop, mobile phone, and wallet—three things, that as far as my present cosmopolitan life is concerned, are most essential, if not crucial to my very existence. I really don’t know what this experience has to offer me, I mean no one deserves, not even the nastiest of our kind, such anguish. But in all of my misfortunes, I always try to squeeze out any good lesson I can harvest from them. Obviously, it doesn’t hurt to give yourself a little consolation, no matter how scanty it is fashioned. So here I am writing about the day, and equipped with much more than abundant motivation than required, may it be in the form of inspiration or antipathy, to pen my thoughts and grace this forgotten space once more. However, despite the events that took place earlier, I’d rather not feel sorry as I’m supposed to, lest increasing the damage I’ve already suffered. I’d rather talk about the good things: first, I got a generally good cry; then I made a new friend, who was more than happy to aid and console me during my darkest hour, really it was something to smile about—just when I was already losing hope about the goodness and authenticity of homosapiens, apparently there are still some to make us proud, real proud, thanks Gee; and then I realized how lost I was without those material things, it was like my life could not go on any further, I mean how do I reach my friends? My boss? My mom? Everything stopped. Literally. Then I took a step back and tried to decipher how fucked up the situation was. I was totally helpless without those things, and it came a little bit too late for me to realize how wrong that was. It also dawned on me how attached I have become to “things”—to the point that they have become benchmarks of my success, failure, and happiness. The “attachment” inevitably and forcibly had to be removed, definitely without my consent, and with a lot of objection. Truth is, despite my usual calm and composed self, I almost lost my mind. The next few minutes were the most painful soul-searching sessions I had to go through. I did a shrink session on myself, trying to talk some sense and sagacity into me, despite everything looking blatantly bleak. Then finally I succumbed to the reality I had to face and live with. After all, it wasn’t so bad. I didn’t lose anything I couldn’t get back the day after. In fact, I gained a few.

Someone better teach me how to put those fancy graphics around here... BAM!!! I like the layout of your LJ!!

I was a wayward child
With the weight of the world
That I held deep inside.
Life was a winding road
And I learned many things
Little ones shouldn't know.

Funny how one can learn
To grow numb to the madness
And block it away.
I left the worst unsaid
Let it all dissipate
And I try to forget.

Guardian angel I
Sail away on an ocean
With you by my side.
Orange clouds roll by
They burn into your image
And you're still alive.

But I closed my eyes
Steadied my feet on the ground
Raised my head to the sky.
And though time's rolled by
Still I feel like that child
As I look at the moon.
Maybe I grew up a little too soon.

I guess it has literally been a while since I last dropped by this space, but hey today I just feel like writing so sue me. Anyway, the coming new year is bringing a lot of excitement to my mundane life. Like the title of this entry says, it's a year of new beginnings. New job, new interests, new places, new goals, renewed spirit. This year has been quite an interesting mix of events that might not be for the weak-hearted. I cannot think of proper words to accurately describe it. One thing’s for sure though, this year, I grew up. In more ways than one. I grew up in many ways a person could. And it has not always been happy. Fine, for the most part, it was tough. And I’m still kicking. Who knew people could still grow up at 26? But hey, like I said, this year is ending with a happy big bang that I darn deserve. So what are you waiting for? Happy friggin new year, you beautiful fools. A toast to all of us hungry souls!

We are but mere infinitesimal beings in this magnificent arena of existence. Though we want all things to be clear, explained, and scientific, it is merely ridiculous to have everything figured out. There are so many mysteries in this universe that are still waiting to be realized. That is how wonderful life is. If everything were spelled out to us, then we will not be striving for progress anymore; our minds will stagnate. We should always try hard to be better, learn more, and open our minds to new things. Be ready to accept new truths, rights, and wrongs, for we are not perfect. And we do not know everything. We should open our hearts and believe in the genius that we witness every day as we wake. Let us keep believing in better things, better lives, better futures. Let us keep our faith and strengthen it -- faith in the goodness of people, faith in the magic of life, and faith in things we cannot see, but feel. Without faith, life will be meaningless, and without purpose. At times I tell myself that even if no one really knows who staged this endless grand drama we’re all part of, surely, there must be someone responsible for all this greatness. I am humbled by its power. And today, I give thanks.

Can I just say that the acoustic version of Howie Day’s “Collide” is totally amazing. I heard it on Jam while driving to work. I’m speechless…

Anyhoo, the party at Rajo’s was fun. Hed Kandi was a blast. The “after-party” was heavenly.

And oh, the conversations just make my day.

I guess it is true that things find their right places eventually.

I’m in a great place right now, this place…

She was kind of fragile
And she had a lot to grapple with
But basically she kept
It all inside

Childlike and effervescent
With a well of pain
The depth of I could not imagine
If I tried

Never thought that I
Would hear them say
Twister went and threw it all away

She was kind of magical
Her laughter sent you casually
Floating through a moment
Of release

Dear God, it's all so tragic
And I'll never have the chance
To feel the closure
That I untimately need
No, I never dreamed
That there would come a time
Twister'd go and leave it all behind

Lord I pray she's found some peace
And her soul's somewhere at ease

Yeah I'm feeling kind of fragile
And I've got a lot to handle
But I guess this is my way
Of saying goodbye

While I trek my way down the street
I notice a few interesting things.
That the rain is vital to the trees
And the flowers keep the bees alive
The grass need the soil to stay on.

Then sunset creeps in as if scaring everyone away.
Soon, it will put an end to the joy of the sun.
I sit and wait a while.
Then the moon slowly peeks form the clouds
As if loitering around, sensing what’s going on.
Then I stand up and look around.
Everything is different now.
The flowers are sleeping,
The bees resting,
And the grass napping.
The day has come to an end.
The flowers seem furious
For the sun has left them,
Then suddenly I smell the sweetest scent
Which awoken my senses.
The flowers are not mad,
But grateful indeed for some reason!
As if already understanding why the sun left them,
They embrace the night gloriously.

Then the moon suddenly graces the world
With it’s majestic entrance from the kingdom of the clouds
Giving brand new hope to all things beneath it.
The world is alive again.

Apparently, everything is just the way it’s supposed to be.

So I walk again, and this time, I notice that the sky
Is now owned by the moon and the stars.
They beam with their greatest powers,
For they know the sun will come soon.
Such a brief moment to enjoy the sky’s vastness.

With a load of wisdom I walk on,
I am unafraid of the world now.
I am actually content.
I know tomorrow will be another story to write about.

We’re content with short glances,
Short talks, short walks, short naps.
Like it has always been.

And in those short nothings
We built a world of our own
Shut from the rest.

It was perfect, we thought
At least it looks perfect from the inside
We were happy in our bubble.

Then one day I stood
Outside looking in
I watched.

It was a very familiar sight
That we built in our minds
That we pretended existed.

I saw exactly what I should see...
Nothing.
Like it has always been.

I'm so sick and tired
of all these things
that drag me down
I've got no where to go
they say that life
is in these hands
you give everything
you give yourself away you give
and still you choke
and find yourself running for the door

come and take me
home
lead me to your door
take me where you are
lead me to your door
at least just for a while

its some kind of life
forever days
we're in the cold
unfamiliar way
so take this fear
and fade it out
it won't make me sad
cause I get sentimental lord
in other ways
and I don't want to let me down here anymore

so come and take me home
lead me to your door
take me where you are
lead me to your door
and let me in
just let me in
and let me leave
just let me leave this world
come on now let me leave this world
at least just for a while.

Last night I met some old friends. Friends I have not seen for a very, very long time. I guess these days I’ve been feeling pretty nostalgic for no reason at all (or for some reason I don’t want to admit exists). So we went to this place in Panay Avenue they call “Davao” (though it’s not the real name of the place). The place looked cozy enough, and simple. Not too posh nor too dilapidated for comfort. Then the beers came in, along with some good conversations. Two of their friends came by to join in. Then we played this game which lasted for like 2 hours or so. I did not notice how fast time flew. Next thing I knew, it was 2am. We got there at 7pm. So that amounts to 5 hours. Amazing. I thought we were only there for an hour. How can you not run out of words to say if you’ve been talking to the same people for 5 long hours? Well we didn’t. In fact, we had a blast.

Of course I had to work the next day. Meaning I had to wake up at freakin 5:30 am to get to work by 7am. And that thought just completely slipped my mind (or was totally ignored). I thought, hey, what the f*** was I thinking? Work is, yeah, very important. It puts food on the table. But, is that all that matters? I felt so much better having my friends around, and no gizmo or gadget or gimmick can replace that feeling. I did not know what I was missing at all.

So then reality checked in, we had to go home because we all had something to do the next day. I had a splitting headache for drinking too much Red Horse, and maybe talking and laughing too much. It then dawned on me that I had barely 2 hours to sleep. Minus the morning rituals, that makes it about 30 minutes to sleep. And of course my head was terribly aching while I was computing my remaining minutes I can spend in dreamland. Then I suddenly remembered that I had to do a million things once I get to work, plus buy a tire for my car, plus go to G4 to buy a PC part, and of course, eat a hefty breakfast. But you know what, despite everything looking shitty, miserable, and practically hopeless, I had never felt better.